Dear Paul : For the Team

Dear Paul,

you're my favorite player

if i can't find your jersey
once the sun sets
and it comes time to lay my head,
i'd rather sleep naked

because no one else
is worth that 8 hours
of closeness

is worth my body

and i've never missed a game
if i can't make it in person
i've got it playing wherever i am
so as not to miss
a single play

and my friends all noticed
my commitment
and fell impressed
and hope to be with other players
the way i am with you

for they've seen how your game's improved
how i am loyal again to the game i once cursed
because of you

this morning i hear
that you were nearly released
from your contract
and my whole life
was put on pause
spent forty minutes
in the shower, with pandora all a-go-go
praying the coach would change his mind

until i got the details...

i hear they asked you to gve it up for the team
that world that you indulge
off of the court
wasn't a test of pride or power
for the franchise
but a desperate plea
from the "team"
for the "team"

and i don't know what's going on
but if it's for the "team"
if it's for our "team"
then, Paul, you've got to realize

fans like me don't come around too often
the opportunity to play with these guys was a miracle
to begin with
so whatever it is, i'm with Doc:

give it up.
that off-court-world
and indulge in a new one

for the sake of the "team"

because i think i take back
what i said before

i have no hope that you'll give it up soon
not anymore
you're too far gone

so i will sleep
naked
until you come back around

and when you're ready
to come back to the team
and examine that off-court life

let me know
no worries
i'll wear no other jersey
until you come around

even if you're off your contract for a full year

but not now, Paul
not now

i will always be your biggest fan
but am so in disbelief that when it came down to it
you weren't ready to sacrifice for the team
that until you are

until you are
your jersey will hang
retired
in my boyfriend's closet
because i can't look at it
without crying

remember that at the end of the day,
your unwillingness betrayed our love
not me
for this is the hardest thing
ive ever had to do
and it's because you're MAKING me
whether you know it or not....

i love you, Paul.

but i can't support the "team"
if you can't either

because that team
ain't shit
ain't shit
ain't shit
without you.

still friends,
your number one