haiku

I am a "hugger"
Came today instinctively
Your love has changed me

a lesson in sarcasm.

let her go.

if she can't accept
that you've got control
that you've been doing
this thing since before
she came around
that you do
what the hell you
want to do
because-you're-a-MAN
goddamn-it
then
let her go

what's next?
rights
to the club
the games
your "me time"
your dreams
nah.

let her go.

so what if she concedes when she's wrong
and stands convicted when she's right
that she loves you for you
and defends your name
so what if she would never
take advantage of you
so what if she's been marked
forever
by your past

so what if she'd take your bullet
that she's your street team
and your deacon
your teacher and
your student
your job
and your vacation
your cook
your Pam
your biggest
fan

if she doesn't get it
if she is going to get
hung up
on this
one
little
thing,
man

let her go.


that girl still ain't worth this shit right here...
nigga, this shit right here.

friday night

it is for friday night.
it is for estrogen.
it is for twenty-dollar parking.
finally worth every cent.

it is for stares from strangers.
it is for drowned-in-smiles slumber.
it is for the best daiquiris
i've been drunk off since summer.

it is for epiphanies.
it is for newfound appreciation.
for my body
and for hiccups
and for humid salty sun.

it is for stranger-kisses
it is for balconies with views.
is is for many things.
but it is not for you.

this one is not for you.

the edge

a man.
is a liar.
is an enemy.
is the opposite.
of a friend.
who's my man.
is an enemy.

cynicism:
my "thing."
was my edge.
but.
the love.
i grew.
for you.
made those years.
of being against men.
a waste.
because i became.
for you.
not.
against you.

BUT.
every half-truth.
every "i forgot."
every "didn't see it."
every hollow apology.
every disappointment.
lets the cynicism.
back in.

at least.
i'll get.
my edge.
back.


my friends were getting worried.

soul>body

If your legs were mangled in some god-awful tragedy,
your sight burned out from staring at the sun
your voice erased by acid rain

i would wheel your
blind
and legless
speechless
body

to the altar
and wed you still.

Your heart
Your love
Your soul

the greatest things
i've come to know
in this world.

still

i am trying to keep my eyes on you but
but thieves are dancing in my peripheral

you came in human form
so you must know

i close my eyes and scritch-scratched
on the insides of my lids
are your words
to "never grow weary of doing right"

but lord

my lover: disappointing
my friends i've all outgrown
and sleep and song and drink and sleep
the comforts i have known

love turned up a liar
and petals opt to wilt
despite the prayer
and forty days

i am messy still
i am messy still
i am messy still
i am messy still
i am messy still
i am messy still
i am messy still
i am messy still
i am messy still
i am messy still

and you deliver visions of my future in my dreams
the sweetest nights i'll ever taste
and i know to taste them truly
i will have to leave my love my friends my role my ways my life
my life
my life
my life
as
i
know
it

or ill be messy.

still.


....
push me when i least expect it

because if it's left
to me
to jump
ill stand on edge

and never leap

just sayin'

I think you forgot.

How great I am.
Well.
Here is your reminder.

Something tells me if I
were to follow through
on that goodbye
i've been saving

bet you'd remember pretty quick.

My self-esteem has been
known to wander
through rainstorm and sun scorch
undoubtedly unreliable
and yeah
she's seen better days
but today she ripped right through
my window curtains
and was egyptian--
brown nipples and soft lace


and she looked good.

She was my reminder.
So here is your reminder.

At work the men's stares are shameful.
usedto make me squirm
now rocks my hips
my sway much stronger... so
stronger tips.

the whole world could
scream my name
'til tonsil-raw
and it wouldn't matter
if you don't scream right along

i locked the bar up tight
(another good night!)
and someone whispered from alley shadows

the breath warmed places you have yet to find

and if you don't settle down
don't come around
with eyelids opened wide and eager

then step aside

because that alley whisper was enticing.
and out of nowhere, i grew some rabid appetite.